I love the rain because it makes other people miserable. Today at work I was delighted to see how many people were unprepared for the downpours. My favorite thing to see is one of the merch-hags at work, bitching about how the rain has ruined her Bumble and Bumble hair, smeared her hooker albeit MAC makeup, drenched her black cashmere Banana Republic turtleneck, spattered her leather Marc Jacobs boots, and wetted her JP Todd hand bag.

I was in a car accident today with MisterK. While we were driving down the hill on Noe Street, MisterK stopped at the stop sign at 23rd Street. Our bodies were jolted forward, necks whipping, seatbealts tightening and a heavy crack sound filled our ears. Someone had rear-ended us (and not in a good way!)

MisterK got out of the car and the nefarious bumper-crusher pulled along side us. He said he was going to pull over, but he turned onto 23rd and headed up the hill. He hit and ran, but we wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and waited a while for him to return. No luck.

We parked the car and headed to my apartment, where my roommates entertained MisterK while I changed my clothes. MisterK and I decided to go eat before we went to the police station. Off to Miss Millies for some yummy “Creative American Cuisine.”

We finally made our way to the Mission Station on Valencia and 17th. After MisterK called his insurance company we went into the station to file a report. The officer that took down the information would best be described as a mysoginstic, ball-scratching, bed-farting, dimwhit with little man syndrome.

The front desk officers were listening to the reports on the missing pregnant Modesto woman, whom many suspect is dead—possibly killed by her husband. The little officer taking our report was tacky enough to say to his partner, “I would have waited until she had my kid and then killed her.” He smirk and then laughed, his little pigeon chest puffed out proudly. Asshole, what an asshole.

Since we didn’t have much information on the hit and run driver there was way we could prosecute. So we just chalked this one up to experience.