[Real Life] Got a Light?

Walking and sippin' my Jamba Juice this morning, I strayed from my usual path to work. Taking 15th Street past Dolores, I came across a woman in an electric wheelchair. She was carrying some sort of white and red box placed precariously on her lap. She zipped past me towards the corner. A loud crash filled the still morning air. The box fell in front of her chair. She kept crashing into it like it was a bumper car. No one else was around. I was going to have to help this lady. As I approached she was yelling, slurring the words, "Sooooome body 'elp meeeee!" I stopped to the side of her. She seemed to be in her forties, haggard by elements, reeking of booze and tobacco. The box turned out to be a small microwave oven. I picked it up and placed it in her lap. She still said, "Sooooome body 'elp meeeee!" I noticed her purse was caught between the right side wheels. I maneuvered it out, trying not to get myfingers smashed because she kept moving the chair back and forth. "They lie abooooout me!" She cried, "I jus' wanna cigarette! The people in the alley lie!" I was still kneeling, when I noticed on her right hand were some brass knuckles. Then the bitch took a potshot at my head. She didn't tag me because I jumped back, not that it would have mattered since she had all the strength of Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons." Surprised I laughed out, "Fuck you." I shook my head, turned and walked away. She yelled towards me as I reached the corner, "Heeeey yoooou, got a light?"