There was no sugar coating things when I was a child. I knew about the birds and the bees before anyone else my age. When it came to sex and drugs not a lot was left up to my imagination. My dad would come home everyday from work at noon for “lunch” and he and my mom would go have sex in their bedroom while I watched cartoons in the living room. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked in on them. I once saw my mom giving my dad head in the backyard. Not to mention how many Polaroids I’ve seen, which makes embarrassing my mom extremely easy. “Remember that time you sent me out to the car to get money out of your purse? Well I found those pictures dad took of you in the motel. I didn’t know your asshole was so hairy.” She’s mercurially modest, she’ll still walks around the house naked unless someone makes a comment about it, then all of a sudden she’s bashful. She looks a lot like those busty ladies in the movies, her boobs swaying like jungle vines.