[AVFMC] Meat = Murder

For Halloween I'll pretend I care :P

[Real Life] Halloween Costumes

Too funny: http://www.thestranger.com/current/special.html

[AVFMC] Gunner

[Real Life] Mattress Heaven

I can't believe it. My new mattress has been delivered to the Haight Haus. My mom and sister drove it down early this morning. The box spring was strapped to the top of my mom's flower van, the mattress safely tucked inside. Roommate Tom helped me bring it into the house. All I need now is the bedding out of storage and I can actually move into the place I've been paying rent at for the past two months. I told Tom to just think of me as a Flight Attendant, only my layovers are really only 15 minute gab session conducted twice weekly.

[Real Life] Team America: World Police

Courtney and I saw "Team America: World Police" at the Kabuki theater today. After reading reviews I had reservations about seeing it. I'm glad we went. We were brought to tears from laughing at the irreverence of the "Lease" scene. The parodies and the gags were hilarious. Marionettes getting freaky and throwing up is well worth the admission.

[Real Life] Tom Ford

Anyone who knows me well, knows I adore Tom Ford. He's interviewed in November's GQ Magazine. What I wouldn't have given to be the interviewer-- swoon. Check it out: http://us.gq.com/plus/general/041026plco_02

[Real Life] Evil, Evil Sister

My sister sent me a link from Yahoo! Personals of two guys from my home town. I laughed so hard at what they had to say. I'm glad I moved away long ago. It sparked my interest to go and look at what other profiles were out there for Ukiah. They were pretty tragic. Seems most of the girls I went to school with are now single moms and most of the guys are fast food managers. No judgments, honestly. Now I really feel no need to go to my 10 year high school reunion next summer.

[AVFMC] Leisure League

[Fortune Cookie] "You will...

:) You will do well to expand your business. :)

[AVFMC] Fear the Platypus

[Real Life] Blinded by the Sight

I think there's an old saying about how masturbation will make you go blind. I'm not certain it's true, but staring at porn 8 hours a day will. Of course it probably has more to do with the computer screen, but I digress. Children-- porn will make you go blind!

[AVFMC] San Francisco City Hall

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[Real Life] Mattress Shopping the Sluty Way

Since January of this year I've been researching mattresses. Translation, I’ve done a lot of lying around. There are conventional ways of going about mattress shopping. For example: Sleep Train, Mancini’s Sleep World and Macy’s Furniture all have beds set up so you can walk in, lie down and take a load off (if I were homeless this is how I’d nap.) But I’m not conventional and figured I should test out mattresses the best way I know how. I started hooking up with recent mattress purchasers. Basically I stalked men who went into the above mentioned stores and watched them make their purchases as I waited outside. Dressed conservatively with a clipboard and forms, when a guy left I asked if he had a minute to fill out an exit survey about his purchase. Using my highly tuned gaydar, I surmised if I could bed this guy. In the beginning I would get his contact information and ask if I could “follow up.” However after a few days of doing this I became a little more brazen and used cheesy pickup lines like, “Ah, you bought a mattress with a Euro-top. Have you considered an American Top in bed?” That line was magic. I tested Stearns & Foster Silverdream mattresses, Beautyrests, Tempur-pedics, Sealy Reflexion and even two futons (the guys were really HOT!) The Silverdream line was the best, but way out of my price range. So I’ve settled on Beautyrests. Not only are they comfortable—there’s added cushion for the pushin’.